Welcoming Darkness
by clandestinedly
Summary: Slightly AU: Violet's been left with Lucas since Pete went for a run and never returned. This is her attempt to manage life with their four year-old son until he finally returns. Please R&R!
1. A Rough Night

"Mommy!"

Violet stirred in her sleep, the cries from her four-year old piercing the darkness of the house, bringing her out of her fitful slumber. She hadn't slept well in nights, and part of it was her son was unsettled. He missed his father, he didn't like the disruption it caused to his routine, and she knew Lucas hated seeing his mommy upset.

Pete had been gone little over two weeks now, and Violet was finding it harder and harder to come up with plausible excuses to feed their son together. So far, daddy had gone to see his family, he had gone to the shops, he had worked late for at least five days straight, and then there were some days when Violet became so upset she simply shrugged and told Lucas honestly, "I don't know, sweetheart."

Rubbing her eyes, groggily, she barely had time to sit up before her son cried out for her again.

_"Mommy!" _

She tapped on her bedroom light twice, letting the light from the sixty watt bulb to fill the room. Pete had bought her it as a joke present after one night when she had been unable to turn on the bedside light after too many tequilas. This was easy, one tap equaled a dim display of light. Two taps made it brighter, and three was the brightest. She climbed down to the end of her bed, slipping off it as she padded through into her son's adjoining room.

She walked up to her son's bed, perching herself on the side of it. His dinosaur covers were bunched up and in his half-asleep state, Violet could tell he had been crying.

"It's okay, Lucas. Mommie's here." She scooped her son up into her arms, and he instantly wrapped himself around her and began to cry. Violet was sure she felt her heart break, as she ran her hand up and down her son's back soothingly, trying to shush him back to sleep.

This was becoming a nightly occurrence, and it wasn't doing either of them any good. Pete had left them in a state of limbo, though Violet was sure she was teetering across the line and into the boundary of hell as each day passed. Her years of being a psychiatrist had shown her many things; taught her how to deal with emotions rationally - and how to pass on her sound advice to others. The one thing it hadn't taught her was how to listen to her own cries for help, and how to use her own advice to save herself and her four year-old son.

As she cradled Lucas in her arms, and he began to fell asleep, Violet glanced at the clock on his wall. The little dinosaur ticked steadily around the face of the clock, the main arms indicating it was nearly four in the morning. She stood up gently and carried Lucas through to her bedroom, where she tucked him up into Pete's side of the bed. Brushing some of his ash blonde hair from his face, she kissed his forehead gently and smiled as she looked at him. He looked so much like Pete, and embodied so much of his character, it was heart breaking to even think about what was running through Pete's mind. How could he leave his wife and child behind. More so, how could he leave_ Lucas_ behind? That was something Violet couldn't fathom.

Sure, it had been hard in the beginning. Violet sure didn't earn the mother-of-the-year trophy for the first year of Lucas' life. But she had stepped back, addressed her issues, and was able to move forward with her son. And damn, had she been a good mother since. The psychiatrist couldn't imagine her life without Lucas Wilder in it right now, and she wanted to punch Pete right in the face for doing this to his son.

Punch him square in the jaw, and then kiss him. She missed his kisses, the way he'd wrap his arms around her and make her feel invincible. The smell of his musky aftershave, which he always wore too much of. She sighed quietly as she climbed into bed besides her now sleeping son, and reached over, tapping the light a further two times as she welcomed darkness and silence once more.


	2. So Close, Yet So Far

_"Errr, what's up, doc?" _

Laughter flooded the house as Lucas sat downstairs early the next morning, watching Saturday morning cartoons. Looney tunes were his current favourite, and bugs bunny, wile e. coyote and roadrunner were extremely loud for seven-thirty AM. Violet was still in bed upstairs, and she groaned as she regained consciousness. Her nimble hands grabbed Pete's pillow, putting it over her head to block out both the noise and the abrasive sunlight coming through the window.

The volume on the television grew louder, and Violet frowned beneath her duck-feathered pillow. It was a good job they lived in a detached house, because no neighbours would put up with this amount of raucousness. Unable to find any extra rest, she threw the pillow aside, and swung her legs out of the bed. Grabbing her hair tie from the nightstand, she tied her curls up behind her head before rubbing her eyes and heading downstairs.

The legs on her checked pajama pants dragged along the floor behind her. Pete had bought her them, and had picked them up from the 'tall' section of the department store without realizing it. The psychiatrist liked the extra length, though. They seemed comfier somehow. As she padded down the stairs, she wondered how her son could be so alert after such a disruptive nights sleep. She felt almost hungover, which hardly seemed fair, given the fact that she hadn't even had a drop of alcohol the night before. He was only partly paying attention to the TV, as he grasped a chunky crayola crayon in his hand.

Kissing his blonde head, Violet reached over and grabbed the remote, turning the volume way down, before heading to the kitchen to turn on the coffee machine. She idly put a new filter in, before adding the beans and flipping the switch on the side of the machine she regularly referred to as God. It jumped into life loudly, whirring and spluttering as the coffee began to drip into the jug below.

"Mommy, mommy," an excited Lucas ran through. Turning around, she was shocked to see her four year-old stood there with a pacifier in her mouth. She knew she had asked Pete to throw them out after they had weaned him from them. Pete was somewhat of a hoarder, though. She should've known he would just hide them somewhere, she chastised herself silently. They'd had a tough time weaning Lucas the first time round; there was a lot of screaming and a lot of guilt, but he'd finally done it. Thinking quickly, the brunette knew she'd have to get rid of it before he got used to them again.

The fridge. She had made up his juice the night before and put some in the fridge to keep it cool. The temperature was heating up and Lucas was particular about the temperature of his orange juice. "Yes, Lucas?" She answered, opening the fridge and grabbing the brightly coloured cup. Her foot kicked the door shut gently, and she offered him the cup, which he accepted gratefully.

Holding out her hand, Lucas removed his pacifier and gave it to her as he began to drink from the cup._ Bingo,_ Violet smiled as she made a mental note to scour the house for the remaining pacifiers when Lucas was napping. She smiled at her son as she watched him, he was growing into the spitting image of his father.

The young boy paused, bringing the cup from his mouth as he gasped for breath. He always did drink quickly. Violet used to panic when he was a baby and did the same thing, until Addison had assured her everything was normal. She rubbed his back softly as she picked him up, kissing his cheek with a smile.

"Is Daddy coming home today mommy?"

Violet chewed the inside of her cheek as she looked at her son. Every morning he faced her with this question, and every morning she lied to her son. It wasn't a bad thing if it stopped him being hurt, though, was it? She questioned herself multiple times a day over this, before deciding she didn't want her son to be in the same limbo she was. Violet didn't have a clue where he was, and explaining that to Lucas would be a lot harder than just telling him that he had gone somewhere.

"I'm not sure, baby," she smoothed his hair down a little, static causing it to take flight above his head. "He might have to work today," she nodded. "He'll be home soon, though."

Lucas wriggled in her arms, indicating he wanted to be put down. Violet obliged, and watched him run off happily. It amazed her how he could be content with such a vague answer. To be four again, she thought. The coffee machine bleeped, and she removed the jug and filled her mug up as she headed through to the sitting room.

The couch was opposite the TV, and Lucas was stretched out on it. His face looked tired, and his eyes were heavy; and Violet knew he would be asleep very shortly. She wasn't sure what time he'd been up since, but as she put her mug down by the armchair, she grabbed the tartan fleece from the back of the sofa and draped it over his body.

The pacifiers could wait for now, but her need for caffeine couldn't. Picking up her mug, she took a long sip as she turned on her cell. Messages from Naomi and Addison came through, but nothing from Pete. It took her a few minutes to text her friends back, and then check her e-mail, before she scrolled through her contact list and stopped at her husband's number.

She raised her mug to her lips once more and practically drained the coffee from it, before setting it back down. Her thumb hovered over the call button, debating whether it was even worth it. She had rung his cell so many times over the past couple of days to only get his voice-mail recording.

A loud snore came from the sofa, Lucas had drifted off to sleep. He was definitely Pete's son. They were both as loud as each other when it came to snoring, and it made her smile. Of course it was worth trying his number again, it was worth it because of Lucas. Lucas deserved to have his father in his life - and Violet knew she needed to find him and bring him back. Even if he only came back for Lucas, that would be enough.

Pushing the call button on the phone, it began to ring. The monotonous tone sounded for a few calls before it clicked and the lines connected. Violet sprang forward in her seat, almost jumping up and down. "Pete?! Pete!"

The psychiatrist made her way into the back garden so not to wake Lucas. "Pete, where the hell are you?" She paced the garden, stopping in her tracks when she heard the response from the other end of the connection.

"Pete's unavailable to talk at the moment," a female voice giggled. "Sorry, who is this?"

Violet frowned, her grip tightening around her cell as she wrapped her other arm across her stomach. "This is Violet, Pete's wife," she said sharply. "Put him on the phone now," she didn't know who she was speaking to, but she didn't care.

"Sorry, he's rather... engaged at the moment," she giggled again. Violet arched an eyebrow as she was sure she heard a moan.

"Put him on the phone, now." Violet snapped. There was a gasp, and then a moan before the phone went dead and Violet was left with a disconnected tone.


End file.
